The Cap Chronicles, Part 5 - Laws are Stupid Sometimes

There no reason why mushrooms should be illegal. Sure it should be scheduled in some way that it’s understood it’s a medicine or a natural drug. But this is the cleanest mood stabilizer I’ve ever been on. I haven’t been on a lot of them, but it’s been the cleanest with whatever cost to my mind/body being minimal.

I still need to do the work. I still can get angry or upset. But I find myself less angry or upset and I find myself being able to get past it as fast as it might happen. I am more empathetic. I am less stressed about stressful situations, like going to a market during a pandemic and seeing someone not wearing a face mask properly. It’s a tool and when used properly it will help you create something more efficiently. If abused it will also help you destroy something quickly. BUT it’s a medicine you wind up using less than when you started?

I find myself pondering if I’ll need it for a long time? I think or rather I hope that I learn the lessons it has to show me quickly and well. I’m not suddenly a genius, I haven’t had an “AHA!! THANKS SHROOMS!!” moment (yet.) It’s just making the day go a little nicer and I’m not hiccuping from anxiety. I ponder more and think things out a little calmer.

I went upstairs to hunter-gather some food this morning and found they had some lemon tea in the nook. So I’m thinking I might take a double dose - my current dose today and then either tonight or tomorrow open up three caps and do a lemon tek? I should see what a stronger dose feels like while I have enough caps to try it. I’m also going to save up for some more. I also need to go find Niacin? Figure might as well experiment a little bit on how it all works.

I made good decisions yesterday and didn’t get caught up on things or waste time or money. This is good.

I also can’t fully remember my dreams last night but I feel like it had to do with my location and how I’d like to change it but also my place in the world and my role in life and my societies and I’m tired of being more of an observer than a player in life? Went to bed too late but I was up and bored. I’ve got more than enough to get done where I shouldn’t be bored. I was also emotionally spent.